Center for Disease Control Seeks New Name
By - G. Alan Groop
In an effort to improve public perception, the Center for Disease Control (CDC) has asked the United States government to consider renaming the agency. The CDC, instituted in 1946, has always existed under this government moniker. A spokesperson for the CDC, Dr. Barney McBride, discussed the agencies rational. "Since our inception, we have always been saddled with the negative perception associated with diseases", Mcbride explains. "Diseases are not popular, and neither are we", McBride laments, "and the reason is our stupid name! Had we been named something prestigious like "The Center for Physiological Anomalies", I think we'd be treated with the respect we deserve. As it stands, we are treated like, well lepers. Did you know that some Armadillos carry Leprosy? I'm paid to know facts like that! But does anyone care? No, because I work for the damned CDC."
The initial request to the government was rejected, with the government citing issues related name recognition. "That's exactly what we are fighting", states CDC Public Relation director Myron DuMont. "What good is name recognition if it identifies you as an organization that everyone dislikes The whole key to marketing is to provide positive exposure that highlights an organization's capabilities", Dumont continues. "For the casual observer, the CDC is probably nothing more than a bunch of lonely people with petrie dishes, microscopes, and a spiral-ring notebook filled with pictures of disgusting, diseased people. Very few people know that the CDC is also heavily involved in researching
