The Comatose Diet
Regardless of whether you have tried and failed to lose weight under other programs, we guarantee you will lose serious weight with our patented "Comatose Diet".
The most frequent cause of failure with most diet plans is allowing the dieter to have a say in the matter. Using our innovative approach, we remove your ability to screw things up. Simply eat whatever you like for three weeks out of the month. Starting week four, however, your big-butt is ours.
In our recently renovated "Sleep Center", we administer a shot to induce a mild coma which typically lasts about a week. While you lay in a helpless state, we will barely sustain you with fluids as we pump your body full of stimulants. To hasten the weight loss, and firm muscle, we administer electro-shocks through electrodes connected to your body. In most cases, the patient is able to walk out of the clinic when they come out of their coma.
We guarantee results, visit our website (when we get one) for testimonials and actual results.
