Cows Have A Right To Be Mad
By - G. Alan Groop
London, England - The question, everybody seems to be asking, is what caused the cows to become so angry? An animal psychologist, Dr. Bernie Watlow, attempted to answer this question at a luncheon in Liverpool. "What we have is an oppressed species that is, quite frankly, not going to take it anymore." "Over the years," Watlow continues, "the cow has been mistreated, used, and abused by society. I think they've figured out the pattern. They've seen their friends doing what they do, eat and get fat, then get on a trailer never to be seen again." "Granted," Watlow admits, "the cow has traditionally been considered fairly low on the food chain, sporting limited intelligence. Of course we never see a cow picking winning stocks, hell my broker doesn't either and I don't see us wearing his skin around our feet, even though I would like to. They've never been sent into space, but I think they are smarter than we may think. I suspect they are very aware of the what is going on. From being forced to be a farm boy's first love to not being milked in a timely manner, we have all left their scars. My hunch is that the cows have gotten together and created this "Mad Cow Disease" just to get even with us," Watlow speculates. "I think if we sit down with them, we can conduct some meaningful dialog with them, assuming we can find a pet psychic. There must be some common ground we can reach that will get them to stop poisoning us.
